Complaining Pt. 1

Fourth post, I just got a little inspiration while chatting with a friend on MSN.

Q: Why do we humans keep complaining?

A: We complain usually because it's a habit. When we are unhappy with something, but are too helpless or lazy to do something about it, we complain.

BSA: Firstly, we complain because we can. If you ever see or hear some cat complaining that it's master forgot to feed it lasagne, well, you've probably been watching too much Garfield.

Secondly, we complain because it's a way to let out the unhappy tension that we have coiled inside of us. You know, when the neighbour upstairs won't stop skipping his rope despite the fact that he's been supersized many times over. Maybe he's skipping cause his wife complained that he's flattening her in bed. Well whatever, I know one thing, you don't skip for 2 hours on end when your poor neighbour downstairs is trying to get some sleep.

Like, the last thing I need while trying to catch some sleep is an earthquake whose epicenter comes from ABOVE. I believe the fat bastard is also probably complaining whilst skipping, like one curse word per skip. Of course he can't beat the poor fellow below who is cursing at him from below at the rate of 300cpm (curses per min). Ok, I've just let out most of the tension, despite the fact that I don't happen to have any neighbour like that haha, then again, somebody's been hanging wet clothes out to drip on mine...ARGH!

Thirdly, it's an outlet of expression. The blues basically came from the first generation of black slaves in America (no, this is not bullshit). The other outlet is metal, where the complaints usually take on a more violent tone hehe. Hmm, I'll try to craft a BSB (Bullshit Blues) song. Here goes!

I was lying on my bed, trying to get some sleep
I was lying on my bed, trying to get some sleep
But some fat bastard above me, had begun to skip
...some fat bastard above me, had begun to skip
Sounds crazy, but the whole world started shakin'
One man and a rope, caused a whole lot of quakin'
So I took my guitar in hand, plugged into my amp
Cranked it up to 10, and jammed a basic vamp
Started singing this song, telling him to stop
Fatso wouldn't listen, he continued to hop
So on and on I played, getting noisier every minute
The police came a knockin' and I had to stop it
But before they left, they heard a loud rumbling
Then they realised, it was fatso they should be whacking! :P

Anyone who might happen to want to plagiarise the lyrics, go ahead, bullshit is free.

Oh man, I'll stop this post here, maybe I'll continue my analysis of the human psyche to complain on my next posting, in the meantime, I need to go play my guitar hehehe...

Singapore Idol FUQ

Third post! I never thought I'd get down to it cause I couldn't think of something to bullshit about. Well, suddenly it struck me (no, not the bullshit), I should rant about Singapore Idol! I know it's probably been done to death since I'm only gonna discuss it a week after the finals, but then I'll attempt to put my 2 cents worth, as opposed to my 50 cents votes...

Hmm, I think in order to match up to at least 1 vote I'd have to put 25 times of 2 cents worth...Considering the insane time of the morning that I'm blogging at, I'll put in as many questions as I can and answer them short but still with at least a hint of bullshit (a hint is an understatement ain't it?).

Disclaimer: The following may contain offensive content. BSAs may contain additional rants and raves. If at any time you feel that you have been offended, please press Ctrl-Alt-Del. Smashing your monitor is another good option. But before you do either one of the silly actions, let me say that Sly can sing, he just needs to work at improving it, it's a singing contest, not just a smiling contest.

Q: Why did Taufik win?

A: He performed much better than Sylvester at the Finals.

BSA: The Slyfans suddenly regained their hearing, the Taufans rose up to the occasion, the Slyfans thought that everyone else would be voting for him and got lazy, the Slyfans were so busy screaming and day-dreaming about Sly smiling that they simply didn't vote...or worst of all, the figures were all cooked up.

Q: Why does Sly have so many diehard fans?

A: He's edgy yet approachable; the kind of bad-boy your mother wouldn't mind having as a son-in-law. If you ask me, I'll say his character as far as I know is quite un-rocker.

BSA: That's because the girls all want a guy who can smile all day even though their screaming is worse than their nagging. As for the guy fans, they support him because they have had enough with William Hung.

Q: What can we learn from the Finals?

A: Singapore isn't deaf.

BSA: Singapore has it's fair share of sore voters. First the Slyfans demand vehemently for a voting breakdown which as far as I'm concerned, is reasonable but not really required. Secondly, after they realise Sly lost by such a wide margin, they enter a state of denial and doubt the figures. If you can't handle the truth then don't bloody hell ask for it! It's cool that you guys are so supportive about Sly. He's really fortunate to have such fans, who don't put their money where their mouth is, fans who think that Sly would definitely win because they THOUGHT so, that the rest of Singapore is as deaf as them. Well, perhaps they should perform an Al Gore by demanding a recount. Come on lah Slyfans, you've already done a good job bringing him into the finals and getting him the same prize as Taufik minus the title of Singapore Idol. At most give Sly the title of X-factor Idol or Deafans Idol. He will still remain your idol as long as you choose to support him. Right now Taufik's title serves only one purpose, and that is to show that a bigger percentage (presumably) of the Singapore population would rather spend their money on him.

Q: Why did I vote for Taufik?

A: He has been improving steadily, no doubt not blessed with the best voice, but he has a really good attitude to work on his performance. And I support that.

BSA: Because I'm gay. And Sly's hair is too long to be gay. So may the shorter-haired guy win!

Q: Why am I ranting and raving about a certain group of Slyfans?

A: Cause they behave like they were the ones who lost.

BSA: Hey, I was bullshitting about them what. Anything you don't like can always say 'That's bullshit!', which is actually just proclaiming the obvious innit?

Q: Why were the judges so nice that night?

A: I guess the producers told them to give ratings from 'Fair' to 'Excellent', and nothing below that since it was the Finals. There wasn't any need for pushing the two guys to sing better since they'd be both signed on.

BSA: The judges were afraid they'd get mobbed to death by the fans the moment anything negative came out. So they had to resort to being tactful, or just being plain untrue to themselves. On this note, I applaud Sly for actually trying to sing 'It's My Life' with a hint of Death Metal growling here and there, but perhaps he did it since he was already more or less guaranteed a contract. Who wouldn't sign him up, knowing that he has a stable fanbase already?

Ok, I can't think of anymore interesting stuff for now, so I'll just end this by introducing two new words (which can have many many meanings) to use.

1. Taufik: To be an unexpected winner.
Eg. "Wah lau eh, last round I bet on this horse and he came in 2nd last. Then now I bet on another horse he comes in first. Bloody hell! Pulling off a taufik right?"

2. Sly: To survive by smiling.
Eg. "Wah, you mean you managed to sly your way out of the interrogation room? Eh, how come they giving you a free ride to Woodbridge?"

Words, numbers and a huge load of BS

Second post! (WARNING: LAME, BRAIN-FRYING BULLSHIT AHEAD! YOU'VE BEEN WARNED! I REPEAT, YOU'VE BEEN WARNED!)

Sheesh, I wonder how long I can keep track of the posts, just imagine when it gets to the millions which would be like 'Seven million, six hundred fifty four thousand, three hundred and twenty first post!' or ' Seven thousand six hundred fifty four thousand, three hundred and twenty first post!' Oh man, my head just hurts thinking about it...so it's a good thing we got numbers! Using numbers, I'd label that post as the 7654321st post, pretty cool huh?

Then again, supposing I post on an average of once per day, that would mean I'd have lived 7654321 days, or (I'll just skip the weeks and months k, otherwise we'll all get brain-fried) 20956 years. Dood! That's like way beyond my lifespan...

Hmm, if I had to achieve that number, assuming I live until 75 years old, I'd have to blog an average of 279 f*cking blogs a day! No way dood, unless I post each and every word individually, but then again, it'd take forever to get my ideas out right? So let me do another calculation...If I live until 75 years (again), posting faithfully once a day, that would eventually amount to 27393 posts
(Notice that by now I've been using numbers where they should be, otherwise I'd probably live until the age of 21, and I would only have 1 post if I hadn't posted this out...the danger of over-complicating things! The horror!)

Ok, I'll take this risk and say that my last post might just be the twenty seventh three hundred and ninety third post! Argh, I think I just shortened my lifespan by a good 5 years...which would mean how many blogs less? Damn this is a vicious cycle! Each time I calculate, I lose a few years of my life which would require further calculation; it'll loop until I die dood! Somebody reboot me please...

Well anyways, if you waded through that pile of crap to get here, I apologize for putting your brain through such BS (The horror!). If you thought that was bad, imagine what computers go through. Just now I was converting numbers to words, now it's the other way round...say hello to the binary code doods! A whole language of 0s and 1s, I don't think it's even as stylised as the Matrix Trilogy makes it look like. I went to this link and got everybody's (well almost) favourite word 'F*ck' converted into binary code, and this is the result: 01000110011101010110001101101011 (!!!)

Wah now imagine if I were to scold someone using a bit of binary...

Me: "01000110011101010110001101101011 you lah! What do you mean you don't understand what I'm saying? I may be speaking in 94% binary but it's just for one simple word and you tell me you don't understand? Cannot understand simple vulgarity then I show you!
*points middle finger*

Poor Victim: "Er...I see one 1 and two 0s lei"

Me: "01000110011101010110001101101011! It means 01100110011101010110001101101011!!! Not 010!!!"
(The second binary thread is the same word but with a small 'f' and not the capital. Yes, there is a difference)

Note: The percentage is 94% rounded down because if I were to actually dictate the code, it'd be 32 words of 'zero' and 'one', with only 2 words of 'you' and 'lah' which would equate to 32/34 X 100 thus giving 94.12% yada yada yada...
On a side note, if you curse frequently, you'll be surprised to know the F word makes up a quite a percentage, based on the number of times it appears/number of words in a sentence X 100. Meaning if I cursed as per normal, it'd be 33% for the sentence "F*ck you lah!"!!! Well at least that's the way I would count haha!

Well then, if you ask me to manually encode my first post into binary, my brain would probably have heated up so badly it would have spontaneously combusted! Pssh! Ouch! Now since our computers CPUs are doing so many tasks at once, it's kind of obvious they would get heated up too!

Perhaps while the CPU is busy trying to do some important task like rendering the World Of Warcraft in realtime, the user is going around telling the men, orcs, elves, tauren, dwarves, infernos (why you would even talk to an inferno is beyond me) that his CPU is not doing a good job, that his frame rate is only 30fps, that his CPU is causing him to miss in combat by not calculating his statistics and inputs properly etc. Picture this:

CPU: "F*ck! He's complaining about me when i'm working so hard already! Doesn't he know that trying to generate an entire believable fantasy game world in 3D complete with all the very inhabitants that he's been complaining to is so intensive? I'm getting fried into oblivion and there he is just complaining...and his complaints are just adding to my workload! If he was praising me and telling them that I have been doing a good job making even this game playable at 30fps on his 3 year old computer, I wouldn't mind the extra workload! But complaints! F*ck! I'm gonna go on strike! I know, I'll burn out! Kamikaze!

(I was gonna put the above paragraph in binary but it's really retarded, like a whole page of binary which no one can read until I put the explanation, if you really wanna see it, go to the link mentioned earlier and just put this text in and see...)

Me: "Oei! WTF! I was just complaining halfway and my computer crashes! Damn useless com like I said. Nvm, I'll restart and everything will be alright."

-= 5 minutes later =-

Me: "OEI!!! Why now cannot start? Oh no, don't tell me my com died..."

-= 10 minutes later =-

Me: "Argh! NVM! I'll just dump this stupid old com and get a new one...Haven't even finished complaining and my com died. Ha! When I get the latest com I won't even be complaining! I'll probably be praising it all the way! Mwahahahaha!

-= Months later =-

Me: "Oh yeah! Gonna test out Unreal 3 online and start fragging some scrubby newbies hehehe!"

CPU: "Argh! Too intensive! And he's complaining!?"

*BURNOUT*

Me: "Oei! WTF! I was just complaining halfway and my computer crashes! Damn useless com like I said. Nvm, I'll restart and everything will be alright..."

End of story, before I start going in circles again :P

Morals of the story: Sometimes we all behave like this, complaining about the things which we shouldn't be complaining about. Of course CPUs don't have feelings (I hope so haha), but sometimes people do this in relationships and it ends unpleasantly. And please, don't think that people are like computers can buy and throw away.

Ok, I'll end this post with a question and a semi-proper answer, which if you've reached here, means you've already read the entire bullshit answer hahaha!

Q: Why do our computers crash?

A: Read this. Then again, it crashes simply because it's running on Windows (take that Microsoft!)