Desecration

Alright, this is my first post. It's like the first pile of bullshit dropping onto this unsuspecting virginal blog and making it dirty. Come to think of it, it could be fertiliser! (Yah it's lame, but once you got some bullshit going the blog will grow to have more, more, MORE! And then some)
Nevermind, desecration will be desecration. Had a long delay before deciding to post this cause I wanted to figure out how to make an original template for my very self-centered self, but you can't hold shit for too long can you? So here it is doods!
In keeping with the theme I'll probably come up with some random question everyday, and provide a totally bullshit (shall henceforth be referred to as BS) answer to it.

Q: Why is it always raining lately in Singapore?

A: Monsoon season what...

BSA (Bullshit Answer): Aiyoh bloody hell, you know lately the Tennis Masters Cup just finished in Houston, Texas. It was raining there like almost every night for Pete's (Sampras) sake! So many delays occured when watching the live matches, and Meyer set up his VCR to record the Finals only to end up recording a good deal of rain falling video (it's not that romantic on TV btw) and a repeat of an earlier match.

Tennis fans should know by now that Roger 'Express' Federer (he LIVES TO DELIVER balls past opponents) just sent his opponents packing back home with his really well-served, well-sliced, well-volleyed, well-topspinned balls, Wilson-sponsored n-coded racquets and Solid Snake's bandanna, oh wait, that's just his Nike headband.

Perhaps the rain was trying to stop Federer Express? Hey! It could have been trying to waste my time watching live matches...pretty big effort to spoil my viewing pleasure eh? Well, it did afford me some time to go down and have some breakfast before watching the matches again. So it's kind of a draw between me and the Texan rain clouds. Neither of us scored a point, LOVE~ALL! (No I don't love the clouds)

The best answer though, is that the clouds kept raining down cause the TOP 8 tennis players in the world were all in it's home! It wanted to give them a good ol' Texan shower and hope that the organisers would host the Tennis Masters in Houston again, ASAP! In short, more rain = more talented tennis players!!! Apparently that would mean Texan rain clouds have lots of hospitality, but no brains though. You don't go pouring water down your customers hoping they would come back right? Same logic dood.

Ok now to answer the question why Singapore's been experiencing so much rainfall, so much more than Texas...Ain't it obvious by now? Cause I stay here! Yup, I am the best of the best! The creme de la creme! The ball of the balls tennis player in the world! In fact, I'm so good I'm beyond ranking! And somehow Singapore's rain clouds also have the same IQ as their Texan cousins and go about spilling water hoping that I'd continue to stay here.

Many a times I have pointed my middle finger into the sky and shouted the corresponding F-word up into the sky to tell the clouds to just go bother the less talented ones. Sometimes I even hit balls up to try and knock some sense into the clouds (Knockin' on Heaven's door?). I guess there was some miscommunication, cause they rained harder and harder, like I gave them a thumbs up and said 'Go clouds!'. Come on man, whenever we say 'go' we don't mean 'come' right?

Well anyway, complaints aside, I must say I feel somewhat honoured to be rained upon even more (MORE, MORE, MORE!) than the TOP 8 tennis players combined. That's a comforting thought, something to tell my grandchildren about in the far, far future, Provided I haven't already been drowned by the over-enthusiastic clouds...